i'm willing to break myself;

5:44 AM

fucking hell this so isnt the time to get emo. >.< you could have any goddamn freaking girl in the universe you know, she'll never ever stick to you but if you do just like just stay the freak away from me i wouldn't be able to handle it

freaking bad headache.what started off as a good, good day till about 5pm has become soo perfectly bad. And all because of one sentence or inference or assumption.like.why do i let you do this to me?

man i miss so many people right now like the malaysians justin stef jonas nat! marcus chua all of em i feel like i've barely communicated with anybody in so long,i've grown so far from all the impt people in my life

BEING EMO=COMFORT FOOD=UNHEALTHY

12:15 AM

In case you needed to know, there's no tagboard on my new site.Just go to the bottom of the entry & click comment :)
do comment!!!

10:48 PM

MOVED TO
RUTHLESS.ITALYCRASHED.COM

RELINK!<3

6:52 AM

My blog = DEAD
Our physics teacher really is a piece of work. >:(
Acceptance list confirmed for atf. Braces suck. You can't eat solid food cos it hurts your teeth, which only leaves you with mashed potato and porridge which is like, eewwww if you eat it all the time.
Plus I have four ulcers in my mouth? Which gives me not really much motivation to set up my site, which is being very very very frsutrating.
But anyway
ITS THE WEEKEND =D

8:15 AM

I'm freakin tired, no way I can stay up for OC. They should just show it at an earlier time slot, like hello? >:(
Trying to figure out my site's giving me a headache and a half as well. Why's it so hard!
CD's back, finally its been waaay too long <3

1:54 AM

@&*()&*& my computer crashed on me again i swear, i hate it >:(
RHD at school was spastic, and boring times boring we basically just tested food and all. There were Bangla Aerobics or however you spell but ehhm i sorta missed that =) There was lots of food too, like the sticky thing and Muah Chee or whatever and i shouldn't have eaten both together, its just wrong.
It was quite spastic I paid 50 cents to Erin & Bea (EACH) to take pictures with them but they were so cute! We took pictures with me ray eileen liying and them two and it was like triple twins I want the picture Glen (:
After that I went to the dentist to extract another two teeth, but well at least I knew what was gonna happen this time, it was relatively painless until the Panadol wore off but I just took another one.
I can't believe Gayle's out of Singapore Idol! >:(
I'm getting braces on Wednesday and I really hope they don't hurt >:(
Yesterday I went with Laura and Mom to some shop in Taka and I forgot the name, but the stuff there is quite nice and i got 2 tops/2 bottoms and today we went to Mango and I got 2 tops =) They were quite short shopping trips, though.
I've been dying without my computer I need it back but first, I need to send it for repair. I'll be really pissed if all my stuff gets deleted.
Oh and good luck to the people who're playing intermediate, like vic and anne <3 su, diane, claudia, clare <3 All those go thrash!

6:35 AM

SINCE I WASN'T PRESENT DURING THE PRIZEGIVING, MY MONEY IS FORFEITED.
What kinda shit -.-
ANYWAY. <333> JONATHAN AND HADY (:

4:23 AM

pure volume
Friday's like Racial Harmony Day and im leaving school at 12 to extract my other two teeth.uck -.- So we have noo proper lessons then =) Today was the chinese test, it went so badly I finished early but only cos the last part was all crap, oh well as long as i pass, I was never supposed to do well in Chinese anyway. =D
I didnt like the first block today at.all. The last blog was like geog and i was supp to be a tree so i asked Avril to put face paint on me for the leaves and I ended up looking like some spastic idiot. Glen has the pic =)

1:48 AM

I got booked, so its totally no outstanding performance award next year >:( So i guess you could say it's a totally bad day, my mom didnt let me go for training on account of being totally selfish and unflexible so I'm staying at home, getting fat, not excercising till tmr. I guess the good thing is there's the Third Season of OC on tonight!Even if its at 12. I'll stay up to watch it <3>
I'm in so much trouble when my mom gets back, and i need macs now. Craving! & I think i'll go swim so at least i can feel like i excercised.
The tooth extraction was fast but painful after and i need to go back and do 2 more. The dentist is really nice, though. I wanted to do 4 at one shot that would've killed me =)
We did cooking today! Shin partner! <33
All we made were sandwiches, though and i can already tell that my cooking sucks =P

5:06 AM

Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly

How relaxing :) I've been doing nothing the whole day, just being grumpy w Laura cos she was being annoying she kept me up on the phone last night! >>:( 2 frowns hahaha. I have school tomorrow i wonder how its gonna be like. Weird maybe!
Shin for vice-capt of Tarbet, yeah!!! :D
Just watched some episodes of the first season of OC which i didnt know i missed. :O I love Anna!<3> she's hotter.
Congrats to Stef for winning again =)
I really think i should catch up with my school work. And i just realized i havent signed my term report. Shit. Shit. My mom's in a pissed mood too she's gonna totaaally freak.
EXTRACTING MY TEETH TMR so i can't go for training, or it'll bleed,ew.
I just remembered that i saw Clare& Christine at Island today while i was having lunch, she was gonna play her match. I hope you thrashed :D
YEAH i actually blogged in Proper Caps =D

I wanna run away, run away with you
Have you seen what we've become
What I've become without you

Sigh now my messenger is really screwed up, I can't IM some people or they just can't recieve it. And i couldn't recieve like, Jonas' messages last night.

I'm feeling you pull away
'Cause letting go isn't easy for me
But you'll never fly
With someone else's wings,I know

Take your sweet time.

9:56 PM

Hello =D New lay new lay i'm feeling so good.Ruthless by Something Corporate rocks!
anyway, not much been happening. i'm sorta better my sore throat just got better but now laura's sick tho i infected her =(
For open, i beat Tamsyn 64 36 60 then i lost to Shaofang 2 & 3 haha i played like shit yesterdaay but maybe it was cos she was whackin everything like winner :D
I didn't go for the sicc age group, cos i'm not fully recovered i suppose. Sigh no crystal trophy but good luck to anne tan :D and all others who're playing, tessa, clare, claudia

How the hell can jonathan be in the botton 3 for sg idol, when there are so many people who were worse than him!!I swear next time i'm voting for in he's gotta stay in =D I like Paul Twohill too he seems like sucha spas :D Sigh my phone aint repaired yet

I haven't been to school in so many days, sigh there's gonna be soo many things to catch up on + history test >:(

Tuition later, at 3 but i sorta think she isn't coming :D :D k i'm faallinasslleeep at the com now i'm hell tired from staying up last night, but i think it was worth it =) ohhhh hahha i'm not supposed to broadcast this,but, natnat's a manly queen (:

6:59 AM

just watched sg idol hahahh jonathan is so freakin good wow wow wow he's the shit (= im sweating now sweat sweat sweat it feels good to sweat the fever out/i hope i never get sick again it feels stupid

10:36 PM

played clare and i won 676464.
i hope i didnt infect you =P
freeeeak i felt dam bad when i was playing and even after taking meds and stuff i woke up and my fever just kept rising and rising.till it was 39 degrees i swear i thought i was gonna die or smth -.- my fever's been on and off its dam annoying.
the doctor gave me an mc till fri though [=

4:30 AM

hey (: i haven't blogged in forever practically th whole week.
some people blog's are so gross, and amusing too :D
today was th service learning thingy, and me and laura almost joined the look alike contest but we go hahah i think we could've won!or whatever (: derrick wasn't there!!!!
this is crap, all the songs i downloaded suck >:(
whooooops my mom's pissed that i'm failing chinese according to laura >:( she wants to stop my chinese tuition.whatever i needa find a way to pass.

the planets all aligned
when you looked into my eyes
and just like that
the chemicals react

(: for you,i will is so hot i love

7:31 PM

happy sweet sixteen to jonas
this post is for jonas tan!(= happy happy sweet sixteen and happy getting into nc16 movies as of today, hope you have a good day and thanks for being my friend (:
stay tall, cool & you do look like a bunny :P
you also suck at predicting who's gonna win for world cup football, but still <3

6:35 PM

sigh.i'm super sore today
lost to sabine 67 76 46 what the hell some four hour match,super demoralizing & annoying. it was like playing against a freaking wall but i know i could've done better.i could've won, i was 53 up in the first set and i lost and 40 down in the rubber but i caught up and it was 40-30 and i had this EASY ball, a high forehand but it went out.then i lost the sudden death -.-
go laura you can thrash her, i hope (:
today's boring but i got out of tuition, im going for the prizegiving thingy.
geoffrey's in the finals toooooo!as well as nick so, go both of them, hahaha.

i love this song, however depressing it is.
I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
A fragile flame aged
Is misery
And when our hearts meet
I know you see

I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists
I find it when I am cut

I may seem crazy
Or painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If you would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here
Though I don't want to die
But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside

I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists
I find it when I am cut

Pain
I am not alone
I am not alone
I'm not a stranger
No I am yours
With crippled anger
And tears that still drip sore
But I do not want to be afraid
I do not want to die inside just to breathe in
I'm tired of feeling so numb
Relief exists I found it when I was cut

depressing.but the tune's nice [:

11:04 PM

!)(*@!#%!!! i can't remem the name of the song that plays at the end of every si: swimsuit model search ep.
someone pls tell me (=
AND ALICIA WON!!!!

6:04 AM

school and everythings been so busy, i havent blogged for ages.
playing semis on saturday, against SABINE hahah :D oh no.oh well!this tourn's so far been stressful, played diane yest and the day before that, jean.i've been counting my double faults thirteen so far this tournament -.- but, its been waaaay good seeing like, anne and vic.love ya guys muchhh
miss lim scolded me for talking to stella during the formative today -.- its not fair i was just complaining how difficult it was, i couldnt do the last question.
oh & we have some new comp studs teacher whos really strict compared to mr koh/chia/quek whatever their names were.next week i hafta do sl, acp, and train for the open on july 8th.after school. and i havent really been responsible & mature yet -.-
our school didnt even celebrate youth day today!omggoooodddd.
three last words,
i love you (:

7:18 AM

math retest today, it was alright i just needa pass right -.-
school was stupid, physics sucks or maybe its just her nagging that i can't stand [:
training was uhh tiring.cos i couldnt conncentrate.i suppose,
and advanced tmr (:
boring post!
good luck for advanced-who's playing-tessa,jiali,jannelle,su,diane,clare,all of em (:

6:40 AM

new lay :D finally!its kinda halfway done cos my stupid com keeps freezing.
THE LAST DAY OF HOLIDAY
i dont feel that depressed cos the holidays weren't that good, but still i dont wanna go back to school & feel all depressed or whatever.stress!
didn't do much today, i woke up & went for lunch then i had chinese tuition which is the most boring thing ever. oh & is it possible to get dumber after not studying for a really long time, cos i think i have after not studying properly since p6 :D me & my brothers ate like pigs at sicc just, i dont think i can ever eat again.

yest. was a semimoviemara thingy at justins, mostly i just lazed around but we went to balmoral to eat, at the big bird place.& i saw marcus's car think he was having tui there.pity we couldnt go say hi(: then we went back and played some stupid slapping game, which i beat nat and jonas at. and su and diane were there too!& clare.my god, su is so freaking skinny & she looks so diff.pretty (: i watched the end of high schl musical, the guy is pretty hot!wow and the song rocks too.then i wanted to watch the notebook but justin didnt wanna watch it again. so we ended up watching timeline, some medevial show that was pretty good.
it was good to see nat & they all again :D